How to Get What You Really WantCategory: Uncategorized
Asking doesn’t come easy for most. But if you don’t ask for want you want you won’t get what you want. If you are not prepared to be visible and vocal you won’t be successful.
To avoid having to ask we convince ourselves that we shouldn’t have too, believing that our work speaks for itself and that we should be rewarded for our effort. Or we believe that we have sufficiently hinted about our desires, but become frustrated and disappointed about being overlooked or ignored. This is like the scene in a relationship comedy when the wife announces in frustration, “If you don’t know I’m not going to tell you.” Implying that her wishes should be known by virtue of the fact that she wants [it]. The logic escapes her husband (and everyone watching the comedy).
When thinking about our career adavancement, we believe that our boss knows that we are doing a great job and that when the opportunity for promotion for good performance will be rewarded. When it doesn’t happen you rationalize that office politics and cronyism did you in. That could be true, but what if it is simply because you didn’t make your desire known, simply by asking. If you lack confidence and leave your boss to manage your career, identifying opportunities for promotion or deciding whether you are interested in being promoted, you’ll be disappointed when you discover that your career may not be high on his priority list. Make it easy on yourself and, ask.
Why We Don’t Ask
When it comes to requesting that our ideas be implemented we suffer in the fear of being told no, perhaps because of assumptions made listening to economic news of a recession, lay offs and budget cuts.
When it comes to requesting benefits we don’t want to appear too greedy, or we settle for what we are given especially if what we are offered is significant leaving what we really want on the table.
If you are seeking leadership positions assertiveness and confidence are required. If you are seeking more responsibility that provides you more experience, more knowledge, more skill and more exposure to key individuals, credibility is necessary.
Asking is tough, most dread it but those who have what they want have committed the effort to build self confidence and skills to get a “yes.” Posi+ively Successful reveals the techniques to improve your positive responses in 2010 including:
Who to ask
When to ask
How to ask
Convincing your adversaries
Getting to yes